Monday, February 23, 2009

Dirty Fucking Hippie YouTube Monday

Word to wingnuts - "You're invisible now, you got no secrets to conceal."

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Now THAT'S Funny

"Every joke has an underlying grievance."
Marshall MacLuhan

Hanx to Gavin at Sadly, No!

Update: Johnny Pez in the comments asks for spinning in the skull. Courtesy Mo's Bike Shop at Sadly, No!

Sunday, February 15, 2009

When Wingnuts Kill

It looks like the only difference between convicted wingnut terrorist James Adkisson (bottom) and confirmed wingnut lunatic Lew Waters (top) is a fresh shave and a touch of Brylcreem.

I certainly can’t tell them apart by perusing their respective rants. I think they might’ve spent the last few years cribbing from each others’ material.

So, here’s a quick quiz – which of the following was furiously scribbled by a gun-toting nutjob shortly before he burst into a Knoxville church and killed two innocent people, before being subdued by several unarmed heroes; and which was pecked on a keyboard with one hand by a lonely white man with a fetish for Barbie dolls dressed like Ann Coulter, living in the Pacific Northwest?

Exhibit A

…It is very possible that the prime intent is actually more Socialist dependency on the government as to make up for the increased tax payments, those other areas mentioned above that will suffer can be made up by other Socialist programs, all the help the children, mind you.

This is a vicious circle with no end in sight now that the Dictatorial Democrats hold all the cards and can shove whatever Soviet style program down our throats they wish. It didn’t work in Nazi Germany, Soviet Russia, Communist China, Cuba or Viet Nam and it is doubtful it will work in the Union of Socialist States of America either.

Don’t be fooled by sneaker wearing little mousy Senators as their hearts bleed all over on how they need to help out the less privileged. The real goal is take from the citizens and to give out what government says you should receive, as dictated by aging holdover hippies and their minions.

This is NOT American liberty as envisioned by our founding fathers, but is rather the vision of Karl Marx, the father of modern Communism.

Exhibit B
…I hate the damn left-wing liberals. There is a vast left-wing conspiracy in this country & these liberals are working together to attack every decent & honorable institution in the nation, trying to turn this country into a communist state. Shame on them....

…I couldn't get to the generals & high ranking officers of the Marxist movement so I went after the foot soldiers, the chickenshit liberals that vote in these traitorous people. Someone had to get the ball rolling. I volunteered. I hope others do the same. It's the only way we can rid America of this cancerous pestilence."

…Liberals are a pest like termites. Millions of them Each little bite contributes to the downfall of this great nation.

Take your time. (Theme music from TV game show Jeopardy plays…)

OK, finished? Great. Here’s the answer:

Exhibit A is from here. Exhibit B is from here.

The big question now: What’s keeping crazy old Lew from following in the footsteps of his evil twin?

And people still ask me why I think wingnuts should be scorned and ridiculed.

Hanx to the amazing David Neiwert, who writes extensively, and with great authority, on the subject of wingnut hate and criminal acts.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Step Right Up, Win a Prize

Load sixteen tons, here's what ya get

Welp, it's been quite a while since I've featured a post with the muse who inspired me to scorn and ridicule the wacky world of the g-list wingnut, but her latest delusion was simply too hard to resist.

You don't have to be fat, stupid, or crazy to be a "raging elephant," but it obviously doesn't hurt - especially if you happen to be all three.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Let's Use Wingnuts as Liferafts

Ya know, we're not any geniuses in economics or finances... We're representatives of people. We ought to take our time, but let the people know this is a very difficult struggle.

Somebody threw us into the middle of the Atlantic Ocean without a life raft and we're trying to determine what's the closest shore and whether there's any chance in the world to swim that far. We. Don't. Know.

Congressman Paul Kanjorski (D) (PA-11)

See, here's the thing - since the latest instruction to the wingnutosphere is for them to repeat the question, "Economic crisis? What crisis?" I thought it would be helpful to listen to what the Chairman of the Capital Markets Subcommittee of the House Committee on Financial Services recently had to say about our current economic and financial situation.

Since wingnuts are full of shit, and because shit floats, it stands to reason that wingnuts make good liferafts. So, climb on board and let's start paddling.

Hanx to TMFSinchiruna at Motley Fool and Magnifico at the Great Orange Satan (All hail, Dark Lord Kos!)

Super Bonus - Meteor Blades, as usual, cuts right to the chase:
The last thing Republicans want to see is for the stimulus package to succeed. They want to slam the door hard on even the possibility that the gentle shift in outlook and policy generated by our current economic crisis could be the start of something more comprehensive and truly transformative. When they vote on the stimulus package, both today and after the conference committee does its work, many will be crossing their fingers in the fervid hope that it will fail, a disaster for most Americans, but, as they see things, a chance of redemption for the right-wing rule that has plagued us for so very long.

Triple Super Bonus - Wanna see what the stimulus bill actually looks like in its current form, going in to the House/Senate Conference Committee? I know you wingnuts wont even bother, since it's long and full of big words. But, hey, don't say you never had the chance to learn more on what the fuck you're even talking about. (Hanx to KagroX at Congress Matters)


Sunday, February 8, 2009

Wingnuts Are Irrelevant

Sucks cigars while listeners suck his dick.

I've recently been engaged in an exchange with Buggs Bunny's Evil Twin over at his own shitty little blog regarding the current economic meltdown. When I say "exchange," I guess I'm really referring to competing comment posts that talk past each other.

That's no surprise, since wingnuts are incapable of engagement. And, as it turns out, this particular wingnut has dropped all pretense and has come out of the closet as an unabashed Rush Limbaugh fan.

Whoulda thought that a self-described evangelical christianist would be so eager to do the bidding of a drug-addicted sex tourist making almost $40M/year? There's much about the mind of your garden-variety rightwing authoritarian follower that seems puzzling, even self-contradicting, at first glance, but which is easily understood in the context of the follower's overriding need to simply be told exactly how to think and act.

Limbaugh's latest instructions to his fleet of flying monkeys appear to emphasize countering the notion that there's any kind of economic meltdown actually going on, and that the Obama Administration's proposals are nothing more than fear-mongering.

Reality bites.

Fortunately, as has become increasing clear to all but the wingnut lunatic fringe, their views are irrelevant.

Bonus: Buggs Bunny's Evil Twin fears we will become a nation of transexual socialists because of Barack Obama.
if socialized medicine becomes an eventuality under President Obama, will the American taxpayer be forced to pay for such cosmetic (sic) operations?

Of course they would.

Along with abortions and other medical procedures that are no more than cosmetic procedures.
"Kim" Petras is setting a dangerous trend by lowering the bar, and the age, that one can decide that they want to go from boy to girl-or the other way around.

Hanx to Brad at Sadly, No! and Plutonium Page at the Great Orange Satan.

All hail, Dark Lord Kos!

Bonus Double-Hanx to Jon Swift for the much better pic of that fat fuck.

Monday, February 2, 2009

God Hates Kurt Warner

Former grocery clerk Kurt Warner unclear on the concept
of the proper stance for the forward pass

For somebody who likes to publicly speculate on how his teammates and family members will end up in hell, the dude had to face his own inevitable fate, eh?

Bonus - more Warner religibabble.

Hanx to Dan @ unreasonablefaith