Sunday, August 31, 2008

Mandatory Sarah Palin Post

Who? Me?? Crazy?!?
Fuck no, I'm not crazy!
Why? Do I look crazy?

OK, so I got the word that everybody who runs a shitty little blog that is even remotely associated with U.S. political and current events absolutely must post commentary on McP.O.W.'s insane pick for a running mate, so this is mine.

Sorry, but I gotta do it. Otherwise, I could lose my license.

Who the fuck knows what this is all about? I haven't read anything on the wingnut blogs that makes any sense, though that's no surprise.

But after giving the matter much thought, while sitting out on the patio with several of my patented Honolulu Hickies (fill a large glass with 151-proof rum mixed with fresh-squeezed lime juice, crushed ice, and a splash of grenadine), I've come up with these possible explanations:

1. This was Mad Jack's personal decision. As such, it demonstrates his complete inability to think things through and consider the consequences of his actions. It's the sign of an impulsive and irritable mind, the kind that leads a person to crash 4 planes and get a fifth one knocked out from under him.

It shows how the asshole still follows the lead of his 72-year old, Cialis-dependent and opportunistic dick, just as he did at a younger age by engaging in serial adultery and taking out a marriage license for a wealthy trophy bride before his divorce from the woman who stood by him, even after suffering serious injuries in a near-fatal car crash, was final.

In short, this pick shows McCain being the dangerous and thoughtless prick that he's always been. This video showing him staring at her ass while fiddling with his wedding ring underscores the point.

Hanks to JedReport

2. This was not Mad Jack's personal decision, but rather a decision forced upon him by one or more political advisors. As such it demonstrates his complete lack of control over his own campaign, as well as his total willingness to do whatever somebody else tells him is needed to win, no matter how fucked up that advice actually is, or would appear to your average fifth-grader.

I don't believe for a minute that there's any political upside for the campaign. None. Nada. Zilch.

To those who argue that it was a brilliant move to drown out Obama's successful Denver convention, I'll just point out that the record-setting thirty-eight million people who saw Obama's speech pretty much represents the entire universe of people who actually gives a shit about this stuff. No loss there.

It was more likely a huge blessing that we were spared the endless bloviations of the talking heads and other hangers-on in the traditional corporate media who would have been all too eager to give us their sorry spin on what we actually saw ourselves.

A ploy for women who supported Hillary? Puh-leeze. As Tbogg aptly put it, a PUMA has the body of a middle-aged woman and the head of an idiot. There are about 6 of them. Three were never going to vote for Obama no matter what, two aren't even registered, and the sixth doesn't own a car or have access to public transportation.

If Mad Jack got this decision handed to him by the people who are sucking up big wads of campaign cash in return for such 'advice,' all I can say is, "Dude, pay me half, no, wait, fuck it, one quarter of what you're paying any one of these fuckwads, and I guarantee I'll give you better guidance than they ever have, or ever will. And I don't agree with a fucking thing you stand for, and I've never run a campaign at this level before, but I swear to fucking christ it's not gonna be anything like the sorry bullshit they've been selling you."

I mean, seriously, this has to be the most ridiculous, half-assed campaign I've ever seen since Sam Yorty folded his tent and finally got those rabies shots he needed back in 1972.

It's like they're not even trying. Which leads me to...

3. Mad Jack and friends have jumped the shark, and they know it. This makes a lot of sense to me, and I'm usually not much on grand conspiracy theories.

But think about it - the Cheney administration has made such a hellfire mess of absolutely everything, from our economy to our infrastructure to our role in world affairs that nobody could even remotely hope to begin setting things straight in a generation, let alone a four-year presidential term that actually works out to about 18 months before re-election campaigns kick into gear again.

Why not just throw this race (with or without Mad Jack's agreement) and sit back for a few years? Let the Dems take the heat for the coming shit with control of the White House, the Senate, and the House of Representatives. Then ride in gloriously sometime around 2011, led by shiny new "agents of change," maybe even including a resume-enhanced Miss Alaska.

It's like a successful crook who decides to lay low for a short period, not pressing his luck, enjoying the fruits of his labors, and giving the rubes enough time to let their guard down before hitting them again for even more.

Then again, this could just be yet another part of an overall fuck-up of epic proportions started on January 20, 2001 and that'll toss the republican party out to the fringes, where it properly belongs, for the next 100 years.

Anywhoozle, whatever the reason, or the result, it sure has been fun checking in on what some of my favorite g-list wingnuts have had to say about the dirty-minded old fuck and his ditzy new girlfriend.

Sparkie gushes in the way that only she can:
Palin has injected into this candidacy an excitement and glee that I haven't seen since Reagan ran for President.

One of Sparkie's most deluded commenters offered this insightful nugget:
I think that for many people, they want to vote for Obama simply because it will "make history." And yet with the pick of Sarah Palin, they still get to make history, but with someone they're more comfortable with. After all, there are more women out there than blacks.

My latest online pal, Buggs Bunny's Evil Twin, also invoked every wingnut's favorite demented corpse:
What Gov. Palin brings is a conservative future for the Republican party. Not a grumpy one but a lot like another Republican maverick-Ronald Reagan.

And finally, this institutionalized individual used the occasion to develop a new euphemism for masturbating:
Palin is the shot in the arm that the country and the party needed. Her speech with McCain yesterday had me clapping to myself as I listened to the radio.

Yup, he's voting for Sarah Palin allright - in his pants.

Bonus - The wingnut mouthpieces were against Miss Alaska before they were for her...

Hanks to Clarknt67 at the Great Orange Satan
All hail, Dark Lord Kos!

Double Bonus!!11!
Gov. Palin's 17 yr old daughter is five months pregnant. McCain knew and it didn't change his decision. McCain just isn't afraid of anything politically or otherwise, is he? Any other politician would have run in the other direction.

Of course McP.O.W. knew all about this, since his choice was so carefully vetted.

This also proves that abstinence-only sex "education" works, dammit.


Righty64 said...

Come on, Snarkle. I know that when all is said and done, you will be voting for McCain/Palin. Yea, your railing now, but once you calm down, become rational, you will vote the "right" way! BTW, thanks for quoting me. Fun blog!

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

You hide behind a username and throw dirt on good people.
You use your dumb, morally degenerate, depraved, slimy written, disgusting, hyena-language blog only to slam people that do not agree with your depraved mind.
It must make people like you feel powerful to sit around anonymously behind a computer while you spew nothing but hatred, racism, lies, half-truths, misinformation, and sheer garbage about people and about other peoples beliefs and comments.
It must make YOU feel powerful to resort to name-calling and innuendo when you can't or won't find and use facts or evidence to back up anything they say.
It certainly doesn't take any brains to insult people, using ad-hominem attacks, generalizations, guilt by association, red herrings, and other argument fallacies. Of course, I doubt that you even know what these are.
If you and your sort represents hope and change, I want none of it. But I'm not sure you want this at all. You just want to stir the pot, for whatever your pathetic reasons. Your own FILTHY despicable blog is nothing else but a forum for yourself to spew your crap. You convince nobody that you have anything intelligent to say, most especially when you insult others who come to the boards to post reasonable comments.
You insult people that you don’t know or know anything about. Only because they have another political belief then yours.
Why don't you drink your own vitriol cocktail with a hemlock chaser and do this planet a big favor? My advice to you is to heavily invest in your own oblivion.
In ending I want to tell you that you are nothing but a degenerate, obnoxious and depraved person. I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. .... mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable
And a vulgar little maggot, worthless bag of filth. As they say in Texas. I’ll bet you couldn’t pour *!@#$ out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

Rightwingsnarkle said...

Well I'm sure glad that you came by to visit, Mr. Saint (or St. Saint?). Thanks for the material.

Comedy gold, my friend. Comedy gold.

You really like your thesaurus, as well as that little punctuation mark called 'the comma.'

I have no idea what "*!@#$" is supposed to spell, but if you meant to say "piss," it's quite OK to swear here. No need to be shy.

BTW, that isn't really your picture, is it?

I mean, seriously.

jim said...

I must be quite the rebel - MY blog has no Palin posts whatsoever! Well, actually, it has almost no posts whatsoever, period, so perhaps "rebel" isn't the term I'm looking for here ... more like "lazy sod" ... speaking of which, this "the saint" critter is just posting a post from his own blog as a comment (or is it vice versa?), & wins the "Lots Of Perjorative Flaming With Literally Zero Content" Award of the week.

Yeah, RWS, just calm down & vote for that Johnny Wet-Start/Sarah Mooseburger ticket - it's what ALL the cool rational kids are doing! What are you, some kind of pro-consciousness freak or something?!

merlallen said...

that video made laugh my ass off. way to be subtle, senator reverse ace