Friday, September 5, 2008

Songbird's Swan Song

Did you know that John Sidney McCain III was once a prisoner of war?

Yup, it's true.

He was a prisoner of war for five and half years, starting back in 1967, when his plane was shot down over Hanoi, in Vietnam.

What was he doing up in a plane over Hanoi? Why would the Vietnamese want to keep him in a prison?

As John Sidney McCain III said himself, "I was a war criminal. I bombed innocent women and children."

Once when John Sidney McCain III was bombing innocent women and children in Hanoi, somebody down on the ground shot a wing off his plane. John Sidney McCain III and his plane fell out of the sky like rocks, right into a lake. They kept falling like rocks, too, and sank down deeper and deeper into the water.

One of the Vietnamese who saw this happen, a guy named Mai Van On, rushed out and swam into the lake where John Sidney McCain III and his plane were sinking. Mai Van On actually pulled John Sidney McCain III out of the water.

If Mai Van On hadn't swum out into the lake, John Sidney McCain III would have drowned right there and then, and the only people who would know anything about John Sidney McCain III today would be his mother, and any sisters or brothers, if he had them and they were still alive. And also his friends, if he had any of those.

His first wife, whose name is Carol, would also still know about John Sidney McCain, III, of course.

But probably none of the ladies that he fucked after he got home from prison would even have a clue that he ever existed. That is, I mean, all the ladies that he fucked when he was still married, but cheating on his wife, Carol.

John Sidney McCain III's second wife, a very rich woman named Cindy whose very rich dad sold lots of beer in Arizona, and who was a lot younger than John Sidney McCain III, and who was fucking him like a crazy bunny rabbit even though he was still married to Carol, which makes her an adulteresss in the eyes of people who say they like to read the bible and other books like that, Cindy also wouldn't have known that John Sidney McCain III had ever existed if Mai Van On had not saved John Sidney McCain III from drowning after he bombed innocent women and children.

Because if John Sidney McCain III had drowned that day in Hanoi, he never would have committed adultery so many times, and he certainly would not have married a very rich young pretty woman.

John Sidney McCain III was very lucky that he didn't kill Mai Van On when he was bombing innocent women and children.

Now, I don't know about you, but if somebody was dropping bombs on innocent women and children and me, I'd probably be very mad. And if I saw a plane crash into a lake after it dropped bombs on me and innocent women and children, I don't think that I would swim out into that lake to save the person who was flying the plane and who was really the one doing all of the bombing, because planes don't drop bombs - people in planes drop bombs.

I'd probably say something like, "Well good for you. Go ahead and drown. You won't be able to bomb anybody when you're dead. And you won't hurt your wife by cheating on her, too. Good riddance."

The other Vietnamese were very mad, so when they got their hands on John Sidney McCain III after Mai Van On pulled him out of the water, they pushed him around, and beat him up, and locked him in a small cell that didn't have any light. Maybe they also tried to kill him first. I don't know.

I also don't know what they gave him to eat in that prison, but it probably wasn't very good, and there probably wasn't very much of it.

I bet they made him shit in a bucket, or in a hole. Maybe his bed was right next to that hole. Or maybe he didn't even get a bucket or a hole to shit in, or a bed to sleep on, and instead John Sidney McCain III had to sleep in his shit and his piss right there on the floor in that dark little prison cell.

Who knows?

The guards in the prison in Vietnam screamed at John Sidney McCain III a lot, and they tried to scare him. They hurt his arm and his leg, because he broke an arm and a leg when his plane hit the water after it was shot down. When somebody hits your arm or leg after it has already been broken, it hurts a lot, believe me.

John Sidney McCain III did not have much fun in that prison, if he had any fun at all.

Sometimes the guards didn't let him sleep. That's called 'sleep deprivation,' and it can make a person crazy because we all need to sleep.

Sometimes they made him stand up for hours and hours, or they made him squat down for hours and hours, too. That's called putting somebody in 'stress positions,' and it hurts a lot and can also make a person crazy, like when you sit on the toilet too long and your legs fall asleep and it's hard to stand up and walk for a few minutes.

Why did the guards in Vietnam do these things to John Sidney McCain III? Why did they hurt him and make him crazy?

They did that because they wanted John Sidney McCain III to tell them things, like how many other men in planes did he know were bombing innocent women and children. That's called 'interrogation.'

They also wanted to trick John Sidney McCain III into saying things that they could use as propaganda. Propaganda is stuff that isn't really true, but that can be used to fool other people into thinking that it is true.

Propaganda is confusing.

John Sidney McCain III knows a lot about saying things that aren't true, but that confuse people into thinking that maybe what he says really is true. Maybe John Sidney McCain III learned how to confuse people so well because he learned it in Vietnam. He certainly talked a lot when the guards asked him to. He talked so much that the other people that were also being held in that prison gave him a nickname.

The other prisoners called John Sidney McCain III "Songbird," because he talked so much whenever he was interrogated, and because he said so many things that could be used as propaganda - just like a bird that sings a lot, sitting in the tree outside your window. Only I don't think that the other prisoners thought that John Sidney McCain III was pretty, like a real songbird.

I think John Sidney McCain III made the other prisoners really mad.

I can't blame him, because if somebody was hurting me and trying to make me crazy, I'd tell them anything that they wanted to know. I'd even make up things that I knew weren't true if it would make them stop hurting me and trying to make me crazy.

Would you do that, too? I bet a lot of people would. I bet a lot of people do.

Anyway, one day John Sidney McCain III got out of prison, and later on we all became pretty good friends with the people in Vietnam, though I think John Sidney McCain III is still pretty mad about what happened to him, because he still likes to call them "gooks" even today.

Calling a person from Vietnam a gook is like calling a black-skinned person a 'nigger.' It's not a nice thing to say at all.

Are the Vietnamese people still mad at John Sidney McCain III because he bombed innocent women and children in Vietnam? I don't know, but it might be a good question to ask somebody. Maybe John Sidney McCain III knows, but if he does he isn't telling anybody.

Oh, one more thing. Some people call what happened to John Sidney McCain III when he was in prison, when his guards yelled at him and hurt his arm and leg, and hit him, and didn't let him sleep, and made him stay in stress positions and sleep on the floor in his own piss and shit, some people call all of those things 'torture.'

But it's not. John Sidney McCain III wasn't tortured when he was in prison in Vietnam. Not one bit. Not at all.

There's even a very long and complicated story that some lawyers wrote that say it wasn't torture, and those lawyers worked for the President of the United States, so they must know what they're talking about. The President of the United States says that he can do to other people what the guards in that prison in Vietnam did to John Sidney McCain III, anytime he wants to, and for any reason he says, or even for no reason at all.

But the President of the United States, and his lawyers, says that he doesn't actually torture people. They just say that they like to use 'enhanced interrogation techniques.'

And now John Sidney McCain III wants to be the President of the United States, too.

I wonder if John Sidney McCain III wants to be the President so he can torture use enhanced interrogation techniques on people. If so, that would be a pretty funny reason.

But John Sidney McCain III isn't very funny. Not at all.

Anyway, now you know that John Sidney McCain III was once a prisoner of war. If I didn't tell you, you probably wouldn't know, because John Sidney McCain III doesn't like to talk about it, and he doesn't want other people to talk about it, either.

But John Sidney McCain III wasn't tortured. Anybody who says that John Sidney McCain III was tortured in Vietnam is calling the President of the United States a liar.

- - - -

John Sidney McCain III said he bombed innocent women and children here

This is what says that John Sidney McCain III wasn't tortured

- - - -

You would never know it from the media coverage but John McCain is not one of America’s greatest war heroes. He is a former POW who survived, heroically. He deserves to be honored for that heroism.

But one thing distinguishes McCain from other war heroes, the kind whose heroism changes history rather than their life stories.

America’s two greatest war heroes were Ulysses Grant and Dwight Eisenhower. Grant saved the union. And Ike saved civilization.

And neither one ever bragged about their experience. (Can you imagine Ike smacking down Adlai Stevenson by saying that while Adlai ran a nice medium-sized state, he was the Supreme Allied Commander who ran D-Day, defeated Hitler, and liberated Europe?).

Impossible. Like Grant, Eisenhower did not brag.

Actually, modesty about military accomplishments is typical of war heroes and not just here. In Israel, it is unheard of for great military leaders to brag about their service.

Former Prime Minister Ehud Barak was the most decorated soldier in Israel’s history (he was a commando who, among other amazing feats, dressed as a woman — with a handful of soldiers — invaded a terrorist stronghold in Beirut, killed the terrorists, and then fled to a waiting dinghy and headed home). Yitzhak Rabin led the IDF in its Six Day War victory. Ariel Sharon saved Israel from destruction in 1973 when he snuck up behind the Egyptian army and encircled them in the Sinai.

None of these guys talked about it. McCain does. Continuously. His lack of modesty — about something war heroes tend to be modest about — does not become him.

From MJ Rosenberg at TPM
Hanks to justme at Sadly, No!


Carl said...

As McCain himself said, "I bombed innocent women and children."

He also blew up the USS Forrestall in what was to that point the single largest naval tragedy since Pearl Harbor.

You can look it up. It was his malfiring bombs that nearly sank that ship.

Anonymous said...

You are even a bigger ASS-HOLE then I first thought you were.

And that is quite a BIG ASS-HOLE

Rightwingsnarkle said...

I'm pretty sure 'asshole' is one word, and does not require all caps.

Tell your friends.

Dean Booth said...

Great post. You say things that, these days, we're not supposed to say even though they're clearly true. When McCain says that Alaska being next to Russia gives Palin foreign policy experience, we're not allowed to say that McCain is next to Crazytown.

WereBear said...

Thank you for summing up what I find most disgusting about John McCain: the fact that he knows what torture is, and he knows what torture does, and he supports it anyway.

I think he should have read the fine print in his deal with the devil. With the usual Republican attention to detail, I'm sure he asked to run for President.

But didn't specify that he wanted to win.

But then, by that point, I'm sure his soul was not worth much.

Pat Jenkins said...

yea i shared a prision cell with john mccain.. oops no i didn't i was making up tales of atrocities to congress while mccain suffered... my bad.. yours truly john kerry

Rightwingsnarkle said...

Ah, Pat are so full of shit that your eyes are brown, and flecked with peanuts.

But then again, what the fuck do you know about war, you pathetic little weasel?

It's not like you see in the movies, or like the pictures you jerk off to under the covers late at night.

People do horrible things in a war, and the body parts get spread out like hamburger on the windshield. Nobody is exempt from acting like a barbarian.

And then the rest of us come in to pick up the pieces, and bury them, and care for their widows and orphans.

But you don't know shit about any of this, and you never will.

Stupid, ignorant, chickenshit little fuck.

jim said...

All you ever need to know about McCain is revealed whenever he tries to smile.

I don't think he had a soul TO sell by the time he put his hat into the ring. He threw it away a long long time ago. You can't sell what isn't there.

Wallowaboy said...

Why did the guards in Vietnam do these things to John Sidney McCain III?
Interrogation and propaganda, sure, but also because they could. They had the power, they had reason to hate him, they weren't prevented from hurting him by their leaders. Interrogation and propaganda makes it sound so sane and reasonable . . .
One more thing: you had a good Vonnegut thing going there, seriously, I liked it.

Monkay said...

Not that it matters but wallowaboy above is me, Monkay.

The Eyes Of An Angel said...

Hey you little shit head, your not worth the sweat off of John McCain’s Balls.
And what the hell would a piece of shit like you know about war. You and your kind ran to Canada when we were at war.
You fucken litte asshole hippy dipshit.
I'm ashamed to have YOU and your kind in America with so many real MEN and Heros.

Rightwingsnarkle said...

Thanks, Monkay. Yeah, Kurt was on my mind.

Hey, don't hold back, Angel Eyes. Express yourself, just as you would to "Republican groups, Police officers, Church groups and school children."

Now, please pick the peanuts out of my shit. With your teeth.

Peter said...

Good stuff.

Diane said...

Most excellent rant! Honestly, every word was like eating truthy candy with a crunchy razor wit filling.

I would adore if you would consider cross posting it at my little blog, WWL, where I would immediately put it up on the Front Page!

Pat Jenkins said...

i see you have watched saving private ryan (a movie) to get your "war experience" snarkle... but you are right war is hell!!

Micgar said...

Hi came here by way of Jon's Best Blog Posts of 2008! Think I came by last year too! Like your place-a lot! This is a great post! This is something that is never really talked about-are Vietnam guys-I am not talking about the ones who were drafted or later changed their minds about the war/what they were doing-but guys like McCain-heroes? In my mind-no. The soldiers who fought the Japanese and Germans/Fascists-yes. But in Vietnam? What threat to our country did some poor (both figuratively and economically) peasants who were trying to get out from under decades and decades of colonialism, pose to the US? That war was not a moral war. It was not a "good fight" in my mind. To me the real heroes were the soldiers who said-nope I can't go on killing civilians, massacring women, children and doing these awful things to people that aren't posing a threat to me-and I am going to speak up about it. Hey-the ones who went to Canada are heroes too. At least they had some morals.
Thanks for this great post!