Humor, to a Wingnut

Someone once asked me, "Do wingnuts have a sense of humor?"

"Of course they do," I replied. "They love to laugh. They find physical and emotional pain that comes at someone else's expense to be very funny stuff. They're absolutely nuts for that kind of thing, especially if they can get in a few licks themselves - as a group, of course. And only when they have a distinct numerical advantage, like, oh, about 20 to 1."

I found yet another example of this psychopathic grade school mentality recently at Dull as a Hoe (aka "Fuckwad"). Fuckwad's little essay (if, by "essay," we mean a series of loosely-connected half-thoughts accompanied by a craptacular Photoshop montage) was prompted by a short piece in the New York Times magazine written by Matt Bai, a retrospective called "The Lives They Lived" which featured a profile of pioneer blogger Steve Gilliard.

Fuckwad titled his bit of good-natured flatulence, "Steve Gilliard, 6 months dead, is black in the news..."

You see, in addition to riffing on someone who died at a young age, Fuckwad's title is also funny because Steve Gilliard was born in Harlem. He was African-American. You know...black. Black in the news. Get it?

Heh, indeed.

Fuckwad also found much to laugh at in the related comment thread over at the cock-slapper's online wingnut fest, specifically:

Note Fuckwad's thoughtful sensitivity to the potentially dainty sensibilities of his reader - he carefully edited an offensive four-letter word, then added his own little humorous emoticon to lighten things up a bit: a person with an open-mouthed laugh and winking right eye. How gallant. How originale.

Here's the post at cock-slapper's that tickled Fuckwad's bone:

To which a couple of other cock-slappers replied:

Ah, ha ha ha! Quelle riposte!

Thankfully, there's a cock-slapper who's attuned to the real dangers if all of this humor gets taken the wrong way:

Because, you see, it's all just a joke - all in good fun if not exactly in good taste. Nothing to worry about. No harm, no foul.

Yup. "Lighten up. You don't know how to take a joke." The wingnut's ultimate out, the last lazy dodge for folks who are so quick to talk about taking responsibility. Of course, these are the same dipshits who are so eager to talk about endless war, but a bit less enthusiastic about running down to their local recruiter to sign up and actually, you know, join the Army.

The fact is that there isn't a G-list wingnut, or any A- through F-lister for that matter, who was ever fit to pick the peanuts out of Steve Gilliard's shit.

Here's a tribute to Steve Gilliard from the folks who knew him best.

A Passel of Wingnuts

RightwingSParkle (you know, Sparkie - the G-list wingnut who’s full of shit ) posted her Christmas wishes on YouTube, and even offered warm thoughts to her niggers “lefties” (meaning, I think, those people whose opinions differ from hers, but whose comments she still allows through her tightass filter in a display of magnanimity).

Sparkie’s video is standard Ho-Ho-Ho bullshit, right down to the red sweater. But the comment thread is a virtual stocking stuffed with goodies – namely, more G-list wingnuts for me to scorn and ridicule!

People ask (OK, one person asked) how I find these crazy G-list wingnuts and their sorry-ass blogs. I tell ‘em (OK, I told her) that G-list wingnuts are a lot like dog shit – I just step right in ‘em when I’m not looking.

So today I’m shining a spotlight on the newest G-listers, courtesy of Sparkie's Christmas thread. It's teh gift that that keeps on giving. Join me, dear reader, as we bask in the glow of their dreadful prose and menacing delusions.

And to you new G-list wingnuts - be proud. Your mothers were right, you are special.

- - -

The Dude Should Move to Mississippi

Detractors of President Bush have a difficult time admitting it, but indicators show that America continues to prosper under President Bush’s leadership. The Troop reinforcement is working in the Iraqi theater of the War on Terror, unemployment remains very low, the predicted recession has not occurred, inflation remains modest, consumer spending is the best in two years, while naysayers and those predicting doom and gloom continue to be proven wrong.

As the economy continues improving and even the War On Terror results in increased security at home and abroad, Republicans stand a chance of retaking control of the government in the upcoming elections, provided they can show they have learned their lesson on excessive and out of control spending.

Read the whole thing, if you dare.

- - -

Tennessee Jed, a self-described Christian Hoosier who “loves games, computers, cars, and liberty.”

Sex is a wonderful thing and a necessary part of marriage. It is also a profound expression of love, particularly for us guys. How many women complain that their man turns into a zombie afterwards? Ever consider that maybe we do because we've just given so much of ourselves, not just physically, but emotionally as well?

Read the whole thing, if you dare.

- - -

Fat Redneck
(who are apparently at least two fat rednecks, JoBeth and MartinJoe)

The very idea that humans can affect the atmospheric temperature of this enormous, predominantly uninhabited planet, is a preposterous, arrogant conceit, that could only be credible to the left, and is actually simply a cover for the usual liberal goal of ending US economic activity.

Global warming should be spelled s-n-a-k-e-o-i-l.

Read the whole thing, if you dare.

- - -

Some Call it Plagiarism

About me: I am a pro-victory Associate Professor of Political Science teaching in Southern California. I love my country, and I fully support current U.S. military operations around the world. I despise the hard-left radical agenda and discourse. I also abhor irrationalism in argumentation.

to which I suggest he add:

“My posts consist mainly of articles that I’ve copied from assorted newspapers and magazines, then pasted into my blog. Discuss.”

Separated at Birth?

Joker - - - - - - - - - - Joke

The dude on the left is probably familiar to you - Jack Nicholson dressed for his role in Tim Burton's 1989 movie, Batman.

However, you may not recognize the scary character on the right. That's Carol Platt Liebau with her makeup on. No joke.

Ms Liebau isn't really a G-lister, though. She's higher up on the food chain, and rakes in teh wingnut welfare through a variety of scams tied to her interests in those beloved wingnut buzzwords: "Advocating American political and religious liberty, free enterprise, limited government, military strength, and traditional values."

But what Ms Liebau likes talking about most is fucking - or rather, not fucking. Looking at her picture, I can understand why it's a sore (no pun intended) subject with her. It's like the great comedian, whose name I can't remember, once said: "I just can't understand those women who're most worked about abortion. I mean, have you seen any of them? They'll never get pregnant. Who'd want to fuck them?"

Ms Liebau has even written a book, clutching her hankie and taking severe exception to the "sexification" (her word) of American teens - most notably teen girls. Here's what she has to say to a reviewer whose review she didn't quite like:

...if Brinton had looked at the book, she'd know that I address the argument that every generation has been in a "moral panic" about its young people. As Prude notes, the difference is how quickly the sexual landscape has changed for young women. In 1943, for example, the average age of first sex for a girl was 19 -- back when girls married earlier and lived shorter lives. By 1999, that had fallen to 15 -- a very rapid descent in historic terms. Perhaps that's explained by the fact that in 1943, only 12% of girls approved of premarital sex; by 1999, that number had skyrocketed to 1999.

1999!? That's a lot of skyrocketing, sweetie.

Of course, when someone doesn't like you're book, maybe it's just another example of free enterprise at work.

PS - Ms Liebau also moderates comments at her blog, filtering out any that don't meet with her approval. While that's wingnut SOP, I can't quite see how that approach is consistent with anything besides cowardice. I've said it before, and I'll say it again - wingnuts are chickenshits.

When Wingnut Worlds Collide

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No Fetus Can Beat Us

Wow. It is simply not possible to make this shit up.

The Dipshit Who Needs to Get a Job tossed up (kind of like vomiting, but without the annoying kaack-gaack sound) one of his classic wingnut posts, this time on the subject of abortion. Like all good wingnuts, The Dipshit has a fetus fetish:

If you utilize the services of an OBGYN who is a member of the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, you might want to consider changing physicians.

Hmmm, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG)...now, who might they be?

Founded in 1951 in Chicago, Illinois, ACOG today has over 49,000 members and is the nation's leading group of professionals providing health care for women. Now based in Washington, DC, it is a private, voluntary, nonprofit membership organization.

ACOG works primarily in four areas:
- Serving as a strong advocate for quality health care for women.
- Maintaining the highest standards of clinical practice and continuing education for its members.
- Promoting patient education and stimulating patient understanding of and involvement in medical care.
- Increasing awareness among its members and the public of the changing issues facing women's health care.

Well now, if ACOG claims 49,000 members, there's just got to be plenty more obstetricians and gynecologists (Ob/Gyn) out there who don't belong, right?

According to the American Medical Association Masterfile, the most complete source of information about the supply of physicians, there were 31,364 obstetrician-gynecologists in the United States in 1986. The supply of obstetrician-gynecologists is growing, and the future is likely to bring increasing competition for patients. Projections indicate that the population of obstetrician-gynecologists will grow to a total of 40,000 to 44,600 by the year 2000.
source

Hmmm, it seems that pretty much every practicing Ob/Gyn must be an ACOG member. But that citation includes 20-year old data. Maybe there's some more recent data out there about the number of Ob/Gyns...

Physicians and surgeons held about 567,000 jobs in 2004...Table 1....Percent distribution of physicians by specialty, 2003... Obstetrics & gynecology...5.3%
source

OK, let's do the math... 567,000 physicians and surgeons times 5.3 percent....carry the two...equals 30,051 Ob/Gyns back in 2003-04.

Well, that's kind of weird. Depending on how I look at it, there are anywhere from 30,000+ to 44,600+ to 49,000+ Ob/Gyn practitioners out there, and it seems likely that a substantial majority (like, maybe, just about all) of them are ACOG members.

And even if my numbers are off by a factor of eleventy-gazillion, it's still a safe bet that there are a fuck of a lot more Ob/Gyns who are ACOG members than aren't.

Which makes sense, since any self-respecting clinician who's gonna hang out a shingle to treat women and their reproductive health is also gonna make sure that he or she has a way to stay current with developments in the field, keep in touch with colleagues, get the latest scoop on upcoming conferences, etc.

So, to get back to the Dipshit...this man, who isn't likely to ever get pregnant, seems to be telling women that maybe they should get their healthcare from - who, exactly?

Clearly, ACOG is advocating abortion; therefore, you might want to find out where your ACOG card-holding physician stands on the issue of abortion and the rights of the unborn. After all, if your physician doesn’t value the life of an unborn child, he might not place much value on your life either.

Get a job, fuckwit, and leave matters of female reproductive health to women and their qualified physicians.

But here's a suggestion for you - my friend Vinnie says he'll do your next prostate exam. He's not a qualified internist, but he runs a garage with four (4!) bays that are full all day long, and he'll even throw in a lube job while he's at it. He also says he'll take a look at your car.

Stupid wingnut fucktard.

Thanks to HTML Mencken @ Sadly,No! for teh cool graphic.

RightwingSParkle is Full of Shit, Part 1

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Wingnut Pussy Felled by Curse-Words

I was poking around some of my favorite G-list wingnut sites the other night, when I came across this little verbal fart from a wingnut whose name I did not recognize.

So I clicked on over to his shitty-looking site (why do wingnuts lack even the most basic aesthetic sensibilities?). It's standard wingnut bullshit, though the dude does get a few bonus points for shilling a bunch of crappy t-shirts (apparently of his own design - see previous parenthetical comment) , and even features a plush white teddy bear celebrating one of the more recent instances of collective wingnut faux outrage.

I read through his post "CIA Right to Destroy Interrogation Videos." Perhaps he felt particularly well-qualified to speak on this topic, since he claims to be "a conservative who held a high-level security clearance during my days as an Air Force officer." But instead of offering any new insights, he simply regurgitated a CIA press release.

I felt my own need to comment. It was brief ("per blogosphere etiquette," as this wingnut himself helpfully points out), it was the first in the thread, and went something like this (each of my posts is being reproduced from memory. They've been removed from the dude's site):

Bullshit. These tapes were simply destroyed to protect the torturers. Torture is immoral and illegal.

I checked back for a response a little bit later, and saw that my comment had been changed:

Bull----. These tapes were simply destroyed to protect the torturers. Torture is immoral and illegal.

I hate having my stuff edited, and this was beyond absurd. In the context of a convoluted post about torture and obstruction of justice, this dude was offended by a four-letter word?!? Of course, I had to respond further:

Wow. You censored the word bullshit. Sorry to have offended your delicate sensibilities. Have some smelling salts.

I couldn't tell if that post was blocked, or had been routed into some limbo for dangerous comments awaiting moderation. When I returned a short time later, there were no comments at all.

Last time I checked, the thread was still empty.

As are virtually all of mine, I know. But why is it that wingnuts universally fear being challenged, along with any form of open discussion? Why does the word shit strike such fear in people who seem so eager to present themselves as tough guys, and who revel in such morally-depraved subjects as torture and killing?

Wingnuts are nothing but chickenshits. And pussies.

Post-Pats 13th Victory Cartoon Blogging

from natalie & drew @ married to the sea

"Who's THAT fucking clown?"

P.T. Barnum was right - there's a sucker born every minute. Most of them are either wingnuts or fundies, or both, and the surest was to part them from their money is to invoke the name of Jesus or Ronald Reagan.

Fuck, there are probably plenty of fundie wingnuts who think Jesus and Reagan are one and the same. Stupid shits.

Anyway, it looks like a shameless shithead has put together a third-rate Photoshopped image that jams the B-movie actor and stool pigeon's head onto the edge of Mount Rushmore.

Let's hear what that former wingnut hearthrob, shitty quarterback, ultra-chickenhawk*, trickle-down advocate, failed VP candidate, and now afficionado of craptacular "art" - Jack Kemp - has to say about the Reagan Rushmore scam:

"This classy art image could help ignite a successful movement to put Ronald Reagan on Mount Rushmore where he belongs among America's beloved great leaders."

Yeah, right, whatever. You blow-dried man-whore.

---
* "(Kemp) was injured after two games for the Chargers in 1962...It was during that injury that Kemp received a draft notice for service in the Vietnam War, and received a draft waiver because of a knee problem. The knee healed, and he had a successful career as a professional athlete. " source
---

madd props to teh sadly

Wingnut Pander #23 - Immigration

This Drug Also Works Well on Wingnuts

I stumbled across this at Dr. Joan Bushwell's Chimpanzee Refuge. It's an ad from a medical journal for the (still used) drug, Thorazine. The ad's copy reads:

Tyrant in the house?

Thorazine can control the agitated, belligerent senile and help the patient to live a composed and useful life.

When Thorazine is administered to the agitated senile, there is a marked decrease in his nerve-racking outbursts of hostility, irritability, abusiveness, incessant talking and "day and night" pacing or restlessness.

On Thorazine therapy, the patient often forms more regular eating and sleeping habits and improves in his personal hygiene. As the patient becomes more tractable and cooperative, he is able to live a composed and useful life.

Thorazine - one of the fundamental drugs in medicine.

I think I might set up a PayPal account to collect donations, to help defray the cost of administering Thorazine to members of the Wingnut G-List. It couldn't hurt, right?

Ron Paul is a Fucking Nut

I really haven't paid much attention to this guy's "campaign" for the worthless wingnut nomination, though I did get faint whiffs of the whole spambot/stolen credit card fundraising scheme that his supporters recently used to raise $4M.

My brother-in-law sent me an email some months back, asking me what I thought of Ron Paul. I'm not sure why he asked, or what in particular caught his attention and prompted him to ask me in the first place. I sent a simple response: Ron Paul's a crackhead.*

I think it's a pretty straightforward proposition - Ron Paul is a fucking nut. And he's got two first names, which is also pretty fucked up. And I'd heard that his online supporters seem to crawl out of the woodwork whenever the guy's name gets posted. But that's about as far as I ever took it.

Until tonight. That's when I was catching up on some sites that I just don't get to as often as I like. Tom Tomorrow is one of them, and I was glad to come across Greg Saunders' piece there on the latest hair-brained scheme that Paul's wacky supporters have come up with.

Follow the link - there's no way I could elaborate, improve upon, or even relate what it's all about, except to say that I think the money would be better spent teaching quantum mechanics to the chicken Paul's holding.**

* "crackhead" = "fucking nut" in this context.
** yeah, I know that's Frank Perdue, but he sure looks like Ron Paul to me.

Trent Lott, Just Another Greedy Motherfucker

I know, I know - the words "republican" and "greedy motherfucker" are redundant. Still, it's kinda funny when they're so obvious about it, as with Trent Lott's (R-Dummest Fucking State in the Country) announcement that he's decided to bail on the folks who were stupid enough to keep electing him.

Why, it was just last January, 2006 when he assured them:

"I have chosen Mississippi and America once again," Lott said. "I am going to ask the people to re-elect me to another term in the United States Senate."

Yeah, well, that was then, but this is now, right?

I mean, why would someone willingly step away from "the most exclusive club in the world?"

The answer's pretty simple if you're a republican - money, money, and more money. Specifically, Lott can cash in on his connections within one year after resigning only if he leaves before the end of this calendar year. If he waits until after January 1, 2008 when new Senate ethics rules take effect (warning - pdf), then he'll have to hold off for two years before pimping his flabby ass to the highest bidders.

It'll be interesting to see how this plays out down in the Dummest Fucking State in the Country, since the election laws there require the governor to issue a proclamation to hold an election for a replacement within 10 days of the vacancy, and that the election shall be held within ninety (90) days from the time the proclamation is issued...

Now, nobody can split hairs to their own advantage like a southern politician, and since the politician in question is the ample-jowled former tobacco lobbyist / head of the repub national committee Haley Barbour we're sure to see plenty of hair-splitting, along with lots of high-stakes arm wrestling, ample back-stabbing, and probably a few Texas Titty Twisters before this is all through.

Oh, and court. This is definitely going to end up in court.

That's because the above-mentioned 10-day proclamation / 90-day election rules only apply if Lott bails in 2007. If Lott bails in 2008, then Barbour can hold the election for a replacement in November, when turnout is higher for the Presidential and other races. Barbour and his partners in crime have less control in a low-turnout special election held in, say, March or April.

But, also as noted above, if he resigns after January 1, 2008 Lott would have to wait for two years (not just one) before sucking as much federal tit as he could fit in his bloodless lips. And personally, I don't think Trent's a very patient kind of guy.

Bonus quotes

"What I want to tell you...Ladies and Gentlemen...That there's not enough troops in the Army...to force the southern people to break down segregation and admit the nigger race into our theatres, into our swimming pools, into our homes and into our churches."
-- Strom Thurman, 1948.

"When Strom Thurman ran for president, we (the Dummest Fucking State in the Country) voted for him! We're proud of it! And if the rest of the country had followed our lead, we wouldn't have had all of these problems over all of these years either."
-- Trent Lott, December, 2002.

Bonus Mississippi History Lesson

Freedom Summer, 1964 - some of what Trent Lott was referring to when mentioning "all of these problems."

Trent Lott - Class 'A' Asshole

Now we can call John McCain "That cocksucker."

I'll be hard-pressed to respect any asshole who ends up with the repub nomination, along with any wingnut who actually votes for the worthless sack of shit.

Every Joke has an Underlying Grievance

Not Fair? Not Fair? Listen buddy...you should be grateful we just got you in a regular jail. If this were 2007 you'd be tied up with barbed wire, drinking my piss in Cuba.

(from Drew and Natalie at Married to the Sea)

Wingnuts = Psychopaths

Stupid wingnut fucktards really piss me off, and no more so than in the current "debate" regarding torture and the terror technique known as "waterboarding."

In a recent comment at Sadly, No! Larry nailed it:

...everybody knows waterboarding is torture, that torture is not just “bad,” it’s evil. You see, this is why the Right-wingers win so many arguments...(T)hey turn every obviously-wrong thing they want to do into a great debate, and we obligingly play of (sic) the field they choose.

Torture is evil and waterboarding is torture, full stop. Condemn it loudly for what it is, don’t beg people to accept what is obvious in the first place.

It doesn't surprise me, but it still pisses me off that wingnuts don't care about the cost of torture, or of any humiliating, degrading, and coercive interrogation technique. They're too busy jerking off to violent video games and episodes of '24.'

In their own pathetic way, they’re just aping the psychopaths at the White House and in the Justice Department, specifically:

The memo (authored by John Yoo and Jay Bybee) defines torture so narrowly that only activities resulting in “death, organ failure or the permanent impairment of a significant body function” qualify. It also claims, absurdly, that Americans can defend themselves if criminally prosecuted for torture by relying on the criminal law defenses of necessity and/or self-defense, based on the horror of the 9/11 terrorist attacks.

When our own senior Justice Department (!!!) officials set the table like this, what else can we possibly expect from their authoritarian followers?

The transcript of an interview on Democracy Now with Dr. Angela Hegarty, the forensic psychiatrist who interviewed Jose Padilla is one of the most disturbing things I’ve read recently (and given the depravities of the Cheney administration, there are plenty of candidates for most disturbing).

Even if we assume that Padilla was not “tortured” based on the weaselly definition above (a highly doubtful assumption), what exactly was done to him?

In this very small cell, he was monitored twenty-four hours a day, and the doors were managed electronically. And between what Mr. Padilla told us and other sources, essentially it’s possible to open and close these doors electronically. And he would hear the click of the door opening, which is a loud click that sort of echoed, and then a very loud bang over and over and over again for hours at a time, possibly days. He had no way of knowing the time. The light was always artificial. The windows were blackened. He had no calendar or time, as you mentioned earlier. He really didn’t see people, especially in the beginning. He only had contact with his interrogators.

…as a clinician, I have worked with torture victims and, of course, abuse victims for a few decades now, actually. I think, from a clinical point of view, he was tortured.

…during my time with him, some of his reasoning seemed somewhat impaired, some of his thinking seemed impaired, his memory certainly, his ability to pay attention seemed very impaired. I developed a differential diagnosis from this: severe anxiety. Post-traumatic stress disorder can do that. But also, we know from really basic neuroscience studies that extreme isolation for prolonged periods of time — and I’m talking, you know, the studies are on maybe days or weeks, and he had extreme isolation for years — really do, in fact, impair higher brain function. And I recommended that we get some neuropsychological testing. And, unfortunately, he wasn’t able to fully cooperate with that. However, the testing we did do was consistent with brain damage, yes.

…This was the first time I ever met anybody who had been isolated for such an extraordinarily long period of time. I mean, the sensory deprivation studies, for example, tell us that without sleep, especially, people will develop psychotic symptoms, hallucinations, panic attacks, depression, suicidality within days. And here we had a man who had been in this situation, utterly dependent on his interrogators, who didn’t treat him all that nicely, for years. And apart from — the only people I ever met who had such a protracted experience were people who were in detention camps overseas, that would come close, but even then they weren’t subjected to the sensory deprivation.

…given what sensory deprivation and isolation of this scale does, it’s also entirely possible that he wasn’t given drugs, and it’s just the psychiatric effects of the isolation and the sensory deprivation, because the hallucinations can be incredibly vivid. People feel like they’re losing their minds, that they’re coming apart. It’s absolutely terrifying.

…What happened at the brig was essentially the destruction of a human being’s mind. That’s what happened at the brig. His personality was deconstructed and reformed.

…the purpose of keeping Mr. Padilla isolated was to foster a sense of dependence on his interrogators and to essentially foreclose in his mind utterly any hope of rescue. And it makes reference to the fact that, given that people who have had contact with the criminal justice system will expect to see an attorney and be rescued by an attorney, they want to essentially disabuse him of the notion that he will ever be rescued. They want him to believe that he is in their power forever. And I believe, in a sense, they succeeded.

…One of the things that came out in the course of my evaluation was, he was required to sign his name John Doe.

(Q - And what was the reason for wanting to have him sign his name John Doe?)

…He’s no longer a person. He’s no longer an individual. There will be no record that he was ever there, that the interrogators — this is from my knowledge of torture around the world — that the interrogators essentially will be absolutely immune to any accountability.

So, maybe some prominent wingnuts will sign up for a few weeks of good ol’ sensory deprivation, followed by a spin on the water board. I mean, if it isn’t torture, what's the hesitation?


As Dick Cheney himself said:

Q Would you agree a dunk in water is a no-brainer if it can save lives?

THE VICE PRESIDENT: It's a no-brainer for me, but for a while there, I was criticized as being the Vice President "for torture." We don't torture. That's not what we're involved in. We live up to our obligations in international treaties that we're party to and so forth. But the fact is, you can have a fairly robust interrogation program without torture, and we need to be able to do that.

As the leading expert on twisted personalities, Dr. Robert Hare, said, "...psychopaths have little difficulty infiltrating the domains of...politics, law enforcement, (and) government."

If you're not pissed off, you're not paying attention.

Peace

Wingnut War Lust

The Incoherent Illiterate got his panties in a bunch when I posed a simple question in response to his celebration of shiny weapons of war:

Since you've got such a hard-on for all things military, I know you're gonna run right down to your local recruiter to sign up for the real thing, right?

His snappy rejoinder? Alright, Motherfucker

Wingnuts have such thin skin.

II's homage starts off with his usual barely-literate ramblings and loosely connected half-thoughts before touching on some mandatory platitudes:

…let us remember all the others who have served their nation, and most importantly, those who are serving now, in particular those who are in combat as I write this…

Wingnuts love empty phrases: Support the Troops; War on Terror; Peace Through Strength; Big Brother is Watching. So, I shouldn’t be too hard on the lil’ feller; he’s just aping his elders.

But once the required foreplay’s taken care of, II goes straight to the main event – ogling teh pr0n and sharing his most intimate thoughts with the rest of us:

SEALs are awesome, and nuclear subs and aircraft carriers are pretty damn cool, but there anything more better than a battleship firing those off those main guns?

-snip-

…what Army guy doesn't love a huge fucking tank?

-snip-

I doubt there's a retired Marine anywhere that doesn't get that tingle when they see this pic. Gives me that feeling, anyway, and I haven't served.

-snip-

…this is just badass. Its a time-exposed picture of either an AC-130 or an AC-47 gunship laying down what is called "The Cone of Fire", where the plane circles in the air, laying down massive amounts of fire…

The “Cone of Fire” must have done it for him, because II can barely mutter a few more words before rolling over and dropping off to sleep:

…the Coast Guard has taken on more importance now that we have to watch our ports for attempts at terrorist attack.

Yup, gotta get in the mandatory “terrorists at our shores” riff before you nod off, blissful and temporarily satiated.

So, why would I even pick on the poor Incoherent Illiterate?

I think Doghouse Riley said it best, in his own post, Armistice:

Worthless sacrifice is the rule of war, not the exception. We don't need any prodding to remember the fight against Fascism as noble, or to view all service as heroic. But it's obvious we too quickly forget that senseless, unspeakable slaughter has always started out sounding like a reasonable idea to too many people.

Wingnuts sure do lust after the equipment and cliches of war.

But the realities of war? ...not so much.

Hot Chick Classical Music Saturday

Guitarist Ana Vidovic performs the Allegro from 'Five Bagatelles' by William Walton.

(special thanks to Tbogg for turning me on to this wonderful performer)

Fuck 'em (for now)

Shit, this is a lot harder than I thought.

I had big plans, of course. I was going to post my take on the wacky and insane things that wingnut bloggers say every day, without the slightest sense of shame or self-reflection or irony on their part.

My commentary was going to be funny, it was going to cut to the bone, it was going to expose these fools to the ridicule that they seem to relish, and which they so richly deserve. I was going to help start cleaning up the massive mess made by the Cheney Administration these last long years; to restore integrity to our political discourse; and to bury, once and for all, the bankrupt belief system based on manufacturing crises and exploiting fear that wingnuts thrive on.

But I underestimated the amount of work it takes, the sheer amount of time and effort and concentration needed to track their blatherings and counter their screeds with thoughtful analysis and well-targeted snark.

I also underestimated the emotional toll that sloshing through their cesspools inevitably extracts. These are not nice people with sensible opinions, or with an interest in sharing ideas and keeping an open mind. They're parsing the meaning of torture, celebrating the invasion and occupation of another country, and braying for more.

They portray themselves as victims while others' bodies pile up (their own bodies are never at risk, and never will be); they complain of others' greed and untrustworthiness while they add growing amounts of treasure to their own hoards - or, harder still to understand, they champion the thefts made by others while they go without. Perhaps they hope to join the thieves themselves some day.

No, life's too short and I have too many other things that need my attention to give over any more of my time to this endeavor.

Still, I'll post when I can, or when I come across something that has to be addressed, when something just can't be ignored.

Until then, I'm gonna focus on stuff that makes me smile.

Monday Cartoon Blogging - Time to Catch Up

Now that the World Series is over, I can get back to paying regular attention to other things.

(from Drew and Natalie at Married to the Sea)

Wingnuts Say the Darnedest Things

TV/Radio asshole Glenn Beck

On the October 22 edition of his nationally syndicated radio program, host Glenn Beck stated, "I think there is a handful of people who hate America. Unfortunately for them, a lot of them are losing their homes in a forest fire today.”…Beck's comment came as forest fires ravaged parts of Southern California, leaving one person dead, four firefighters wounded, and forcing about 1,500 people from their homes, according to The New York Times.

(from Media Matters )

The illogically-named LogicalSC, weighing in at Paranoid Bedwetter's

Most of the likely targets of these terrorist attacks are bastions of liberals, so I am really starting to say the h*** with it.

If they really want to walk blindly around in a Gaza-type world of exploding cars, trains, malls and pizzerias just so they can get one over on President Bush and conservatives, then I say let them go for it. After all, it will be their children and families scraped off the walls and streets. Fewer liberals would not hurt this country.

Just so we are clear, no relief funds or federal help should be available to states or areas represented by Members of Congress opposed to these safeguards when the events occur.

That would include DC, Mass, NY, California or Nevada, among others.
LogicalSC 10.17.07 - 3:56 pm

The always incomprehensible darthcrUSAderworldtour2007, weighing in during a discussion of The Original G-Lister’s ‘I Question Your Patriotism. Yes, I do.’

Since WHEN do left-wingbats from La La Land (it's burning by the way...too bad San Fransicko can't be 'cleansed'...) embrace The Third Reich and Karl Marx's CCCP Manifesto?
If GITMO offends them...then what about stalags and gulags and death camps? Would the ACLU oppose these three 'abuses'? If panties placed over one's head is torture...they haven't seen anything yet! Have a nice day.
"Ryan...you are going to the Siberian Front!"darthcrUSAderworldtour2007 10.24.07 - 10:16 am

And finally, Limp Weenie just posted his own nugget, and sez:

Americans have a lot of experience with this sort of thing (“knocking over nations”), and we are getting better at it all the time. Practice makes perfect.

Note – good to know that Limp Weenie also has the solution to all of our energy problems.

While unadulterated idiocy is clearly one common thread that binds these wingnuts to each other, they also share what the journalist and blogger David Neiwart describes as ‘eliminationalism:’

White frat boys who long to enslave blacks, Texas ranchers who think hunting and shooting a Jew sounds like fun, and radio audiences who want to tattoo Muslims and lock them up in concentration camps -- they all reflect the strands of the hard-wired right-wing desire to eliminate, by violent means if necessary, anyone deemed the Other, or the Enemy.

Eliminationism is an essential theme in the overall wingnut narrative – one piece of the puzzle I’m putting together as I assemble this blog.

Wednesday Fish Blogging

Last week I bit the bullet and started buying stuff to set up an aquarium. I had several pets as a kid, and even more pets when my own kids were growing up, but never any fish.

I bought a 20-gallon tank, a biofilter, a grow light for live plants, and a cover. That pile cost about $250, a bit over my initial budget. Once my wife and I pick the spot (there are a few options), I'll need to come up with a stand or other piece of furniture capable of supporting 200 pounds. Then I guess I'll clean things up, fill the tank with water, and get the filter going.

The guy at the store - a very friendly and knowledgeable fish geek - suggests I also get a heater, and I'll need to add some sort of rock/gravel mix on the bottom. The next decision is whether to get freshwater fish, or to go all the way and set up a saltwater reef tank with coral, crustaceans, and tropical fish.

I'm thinking at this point that I'll probably go with a freshwater setup as a way to ease in to the whole hobby. Right now the empty tank and boxed accessories are still sitting at one end of the dining room table, so - first things first.

(photo from Bolton Aquarium in England)

Ways of teh Wingnut, 1.1 - Terminology

I've been poking around online for over 10 years, and for the last 3 or 4 I've spent much of that time participating in a number of liberal and progressive communities that focus on political and cultural issues.

I didn't need to go online to know that we live in strange times, but the online communities I frequent have given form to the notion that our times have been made stranger and much more dangerous by the corrosive effects of the people that I and others call the wingnuts.

You may not be familiar with the wingnut world, or with the use of the term 'wingnut' in the context of politics, culture, history, science, art, or home cooking. Perhaps the clearest answer to, “What's a wingnut?” can be found by asking further questions:

...how many ordinary people do you think an evil authority would have to order to kill you before he found someone who would, unjustly, out of sheer obedience, just because the authority said to? What sort of person is most likely to follow such an order? What kind of official is most likely to give that order, if it suited his purposes?

Robert Altemeyer has studied and written extensively on wingnuts, though he uses the term “authoritarian” to describe the individual and social psychology underlying the phenomenon.

Wingnuttery is a psychopathic mindset that, among its top-level practitioners, is the route to unquestioned power and influence; while those at the bottom of the wingnut ladder see it as their best chance for validation and approval, as they remain unburdened by the more troublesome aspects of free will and critical thinking.

Dick Cheney may be one of the most brazen and powerful top-level wingnuts, and Rush Limbaugh one of the most shameless, but there are countless others in politics, government, organized religion, mass media, and the grass roots who help make the whole thing work.

Altemeyer has cataloged the characteristics of wingnuts at every level, again effectively framed as questions:

...research shows they are very aggressive, but why are they so hostile? ...experiments show they are almost totally uninfluenced by reasoning and evidence, but why are they so dogmatic? ...studies show the Religious Right has more than its fair share of hypocrites, from top to bottom; but why are they two-faced, and how come one face never notices the other? ...their leaders can give the flimsiest of excuses and even outright lies about things they’ve done wrong, but why do the rank-and-file believe them? What happens when authoritarian followers find the authoritarian leaders they crave and start marching together?

I plan to explore the “ways of teh wingnut” in more detail with a series of Tuesday posts, using Altemeyer's work and my own selections from G-list wingnut bloggers as the basis for understanding who these people are, and how they can be overcome.

Heels, Meet Ideals

Wingnuts got their panties in a bunch over news from Maine last week, when the Portland School Committee voted 7-2 to approve a plan to include contraception as part of the reproductive health program at the King Middle School’s health center.

There’s plenty more to this story (pdf), but wingnuts only need to hear some combination of the words “birth” and “control” before they start sputtering.

I’m not even a parent and I’m outraged that this is even being discussed at a Middle School!… I don’t think I even knew how birth control worked at that age.

This young wingnut, a self-described 19-year old "devout Catholic...striving to major in Mass communications,” calls her new blog High Ideals in High Heels. I’m eager to see if her writing will match the consistent craptitude of her mom’s, or if she’ll ever learn the meaning of the word irony.

Potluck Saturday, Recipe Edition

I'm still trying to figure out my lineup for regular blog entries. You know how it is - the eagerness to blog generally runs far ahead of the readiness to do so. Please bear with me as I work this through, and until things settle down into a more predictable pattern, enjoy this simple twist on an American Classic that is sure to please your family and amaze your friends.

Barbecued Meatloaf

(adapted from an original recipe by John Thorne at Simple Cooking)


I like to combine several different ground meats for my meatloaf, often using varying amounts of pork, beef, veal, and/or lamb. I generally use about two total pounds of ground meat to yield a couple of formed loaves. If the grocer has some cuts on sale (like chunks of veal or chuck for stewing), I'll sometimes pick them up and grind them myself.

Be sure that your mix isn't too lean, so that the finished product has some flavor and juiciness.

I also follow John Thorne's call to first lightly cook the chopped onions to a light yellow before adding them to the mix. The cooked onions are mild and savory, while I find raw onions too harsh tasting.

Mix the cooled cooked onion with the meat in a large mixing bowl. I use my impeccably clean hands to do the mixing. It's a little messy, but the ingredients get blended more thoroughly.

Add an egg, a cup or so of fine fresh crumbs (bread, cracker, corn flake, etc.), and enough liquid (buttermilk, milk, stock, or even condensed tomato soup - though the soup will definitely add the strongest flavor of these options) to give the blend a soft consistency that isn't too wet. Mix again.

Finally, add your favorite flavoring like Worcestershire, Pickapeppa, or other savory sauce, to taste. I usually look through the fridge and use whatever needs to be finished off.

Form the mix into two loaves. I usually start by forming a big loose snowball with half the mixture, then pat the ball into a roughly oval-shaped loaf as shown in the picture. Place the loaves on a sheetpan covered with heavy duty aluminum foil.

If you're cooking your meatloaf indoors, top each one with a couple strips of bacon.

I cook mine outdoors with genuine hardwood charcoal (not coal dust briquets) in my Weber kettle grill using the indirect method. I also toss a good handful or two of dry wood chips, and use a mix of hickory, oak, and pecan, onto the grill directly over the glowing coals.

The loaves take about an hour to cook at about 350 degrees F. Serve with barbecue sauce, or homemade gravy, along with garlic mashed potatoes, steamed carrots, and buttermilk biscuits for an unforgettable meal.

Friday Morning Comic Blogging

from Drew/Natalie at Married to the Sea

Falling, but still plenty more room below

Gavin at Sadly, No! writes that the ever erudite Ms Malkin has been fired resigned from Baba O'Reiley's televised nightly hatefest.

The ever erudite Ms Malkin is spinning it in her favor, but the fact that she's been going at her farts with a blowtorch over the matter of a seriously injured twelve year-old and his family probably has much more to do with it.

I'm sure there will be a few champagne corks popped in Left Blogostan over this development, along with the predictable gnashing of teeth in the wingnutosphere (blaming the inherent bias and unhinged Malkin-hatred of teh left wing media at Fox....oh, wait).

However, the ever erudite Ms Malkin is still above ground and running water, her head remains attached to her shoulders, and her mumbling is not due to a fistful of freshly-picked garlic packed into her maw. Much self-destruction remains to be done. I've bought a triple-sized box of popcorn to go with my 64-ounce diet Pepsi while her story unfolds further.

(graphic by Teh Sadly)