Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Search Engines, Congress, and Female Genitalia

My most recent Google ranking for the keywords 'McCain' and 'cunt' isn't as high as it was a week ago, when my blog rated #1 for this popular and newsworthy combination.

And even though it doesn't earn me a place on the podium alongside the top 3 medal winners, I accept my #4 spot with a small smile of humble gratitude.

Now take a look at this:

How you respond to this probably depends upon which team you cheer for the loudest. That said, this could be seen as either an egregious abuse of taxpayer dollars, a possible instance of illegal campaign activity, or a sign that a Hill staffer had a few spare minutes this afternoon.

Then again, maybe somebody was looking to download some hardcore featuring the wealthy, anorexic, brain-damaged, drug-abusing woman for whom John McCain dumped his first wife. Maybe it was ol' Mad Jack himself.

Who knows?

I report. You decide.

Monday, April 21, 2008

John McCain is an Old, Old Fuck

While I'm working on the latest installment (#5) in the never-ending saga, Rightwingsparkle is Full of Shit, please enjoy this important announcement:

Bonus: John McCain also said Rightwingsparkle is a cunt.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

G-listers' Aspirations*

I cover the low-end of the wingnut food chain, the hapless G-listers who hope that some day, some how, they'll end up with a taste of wingnut welfare, like a cushy print/broadcast deal with some wingnut/talk radio/shopper-tabloid-racing form conglomerate - or at least a website that generates a few bucks each day with Google Ad-Sense.

Keep dreaming, my little pretties. Stranger things have happened, to be sure. Why, even our good friend, Sparkie, recently scared up a gig as a seat-filler. Can an endosement contract for Depends be next?

While we wait to learn the answer to that and other burning questions, let's enjoy Roy Edroso's somewhat-arbitrary list of the Top Ten A-list Wingnuts that recently appeared in the Village Voice.

And don't forget the accompanying series of wingnut portraits by the matchless Tom Tomorrow.

Wingnuts - where the worlds of assholes and retards intersect.

graphic by Tom Tomorrow, as snatched at the Village Voice

Bonus - Roy follows some of the wingnuts' reactions to his piece here.

* Title edited to eliminate dangling participle.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Back to Opera for a Minute

Life is more than G-list Wingnuts, and since I mentioned opera a coupla days ago I thought that you'd all enjoy this little ditty. It features Dame Joan Sutherland and Luciano Pavarotti performing an excerpt of Brindisi: Libiamo, ne' lieti calici from Verdi's La Traviata.

I've got the 1981 London Records recording of them doing the entire opera with the National Philharmonic Orchestra, and it's a keeper for sure.

There aren't words adequate to describe Sutherland's talent, and while this YouTube provides just a quick taste of both singers, it shows that Pavarotti could really deliver the goods before he got too fat and started phoning it in.

The final minute is applause followed by an empty stage and lots of people fidgeting with their programs.

McCain Calls Rightwingsparkle "Cunt."

In her dreams

OK, OK - this is an obvious Photoshop and, to the best of my knowledge, Senator John McCain did not call Rightwingsparkle a trollop or a cunt. Would it be irresponsible to speculate?

However, as recently reported in the Raw Story, Sparkie's love object did use the word "cunt" in an angry retort to the wealthy, anorexic, brain-damaged, drug-addicted woman for whom he dumped his first wife. He also used the more quaint aphorism, "trollop:"
The Real McCain” by Cliff Schecter, which will arrive in bookstores next month, reports an angry exchange between McCain and his wife that happened in full view of aides and reporters during a 1992 campaign stop…

In his 1992 Senate bid, McCain was joined on the campaign trail by his wife, Cindy, as well as campaign aide Doug Cole and consultant Wes Gullett. At one point, Cindy playfully twirled McCain's hair and said, "You're getting a little thin up there." McCain's face reddened, and he responded, "At least I don't plaster on the makeup like a trollop, you cunt." McCain's excuse was that it had been a long day. If elected president of the United States, McCain would have many long days.

Well, that's just going too far, don't you think? As Sparkie herself said about Randi Rhodes (scroll, combining two Sparkie quotes from the same thread): "My standard is not cussing. It is calling a former first lady a f**king wh*re. Yeah, a bit different than just cussing, wouldn't you say??? ...What prominent Republicans have said such vicious things?"

Heh. Indeed.

“There’s Adam Clymer – major league asshole for the New York Times.”
George Bush, on the campaign trail, 2000

“Go fuck yourself.”*
Dick Cheney, to Patrick Leahy (D-VT) on the Senate floor

Antonin Scalia, to a reporter and accompanied by the appropriate gesture

* - English for 'vaffanculo'
** - Italian for 'Go fuck yourself' or 'Go stick it in your ass.'

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Rightwingsparkle Eyes Climb Up Wingnut Alphabet

Bozo meets dowager's hump.

Sparkie got a little wingnut welfare tossed her way this past week, with a free trip to Washington courtesy of Brent "Bozo" Bozell and his Media Research Center ("Inventing, then exposing, the liberal boogiemen under your bed since 1987.").

The occasion was Bozo's annual wingnut circle jerk and squawkfest. This year's theme was "Roasting the Most Outrageously Biased Liberal Reporting of the Year."

I don't know about you, but I'm sure glad someone's taking on that goddamn liberal media.
Any stupid fuck can enlist for a couple or three tours in Iraq, but it takes real balls to park it in a hotel ballroom for endless hours while grooving to the verbal stylings of Cal Thomas, Ann Coulter, and Mark Levin.

Our gal was resplendent in a tasteful, puffy-sleeved black and white number done up in a fire-resistant acrylic/rayon blend.

She was deeply moved by the whole evening, particularly a special tribute to Navy Lieutenant Michael Patrick Murphy. Sparkie says she was proud to join in exploiting the deeds and memory of the posthumous Medal of Honor recipient.

"I love our warriors," Sparkie said. "I just don't love 'em enough to send my two oldest kids to fight alongside them."

You'll find more frozen smiles, along with that lovely rayon dress, right cheer.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Hot Chick Classical Music - Spring Time

Reading the inane tripe written by G-list Wingnuts will drive anybody, except maybe other wingnuts, flat out crazy, so it's important to have an outlet or two as relief against their mind-numbing stupidity.

I like listening to music, especially that wonderful sub-genre, Hot Chick Classical. There are really only two requirements for any piece to be included in this category.

First, the music must meet the general definition of 'classical,' which, according to our anonymous friends at Wikipedia is:
"...a broad term that usually refers to music produced in, or rooted in the traditions of Western ecclesiastical and concert music, encompassing a broad period from roughly the 9th century to present times."
Second, the performance or recording must feature at least one hot chick, which is a subjective measure completely up the listener.

I recently paid a visit to my Italian barber, and so I've been listening to lots of opera lately, including a disc of arias by Giuseppe Verdi, as performed by the incomparable American Soprano, Beverly Sills.

Ms Sills had passion, presence, and class. Here's something I stumbled across at YouTube. It's from her final performance with the New York City Opera, and features the song she used to close each of her recitals - a translation of the Portuguese folk song, "Tell Me Why," as taught to Sills by her longtime, and only, voice teacher, Estelle Liebling.
Time has come for me to leave you.
Tis the moment for goodbye.
Ah my sweet, we have to part now.
Please brush your tears from those dear eyes.

We have shared so much together.
T'is not the end but a new start.
Ah, my dear, I’ll always love you.
You'll be forever in my heart.

Ah, my dear, I'll always love you.
You'll be forever in my heart.

Beverly Sills Online
- the definitive site about the artist

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Draft College Republicans

They're certainly the right age, and they're physically fit.

And they've got plenty of time on their hands.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Bush Pitching on Home Shopping Network

Well, that’s what this photo looks like.

In the event that the Dauphin landed a gig hustling weight loss products and collectible figurines, I have no doubt that he’d fuck it up royally and would need to be bailed out by his dad’s rich friends.

That’s his track record, anyway.

I’m posting this for a coupla reasons. My fears from yesterday, along with the expectation that I’d be unable to keep an eye on this blog, have been replaced by some good news and cautious optimism that’s freed me up both mentally and blog-wise.

This image and accompanying analysis appear in today’s issue of Michael Shaw’s fine, fine BagNewsNotes, and I really like what Michael does over there. More folks should know about his work.

Heck, Michael even came up with the HSN reference. Wish I'd thought of that.