Monday, December 17, 2007

RightwingSParkle is Full of Shit, Part 1

Rightwingsparkle (RWS, or Sparkie, for short) was one of the first G-list wingnuts who caught my attention. This bored Houston housewife with too much time on her hands has been full of shit for as long as I've been reading her blog, though her being full of shit doesn't diminish the MILF-lust rampant in her fan base.

Then again, maybe they're also coprophiles.

Sparkie is full of shit for the usual reasons that all wingnuts are full of shit, but it's gotta be hard to be as relentless about it as she is. There's only so much shit that can be crammed in before the whole package is set to explode, and last Fall I thought Sparkie had reached that point. She pulled the plug on her blog about a month before the 2006 mid-term elections, claiming the need to get some distance from the vitriol of partisan politics (wingnuts are immune to irony), and telling her readers that all she really wanted to do was lose herself in charitable works.

But I guess after solving society's many ills, and with a comfort that can only come from the undeniable evidence that George W. Bush is, in fact, wildly popular and 100% correct about everything he's ever said or done, Sparkie decided it was time to rejoin the G-list, though without the benefit of that remedial English composition course she really should take.

She's the classic authoritarian follower: irretrievably bigoted, violently self-righteous, and completely incapable of the tiniest doubt or even token self-reflection. She's also extremely thin-skinned, and doesn't tolerate comments that include the "s-word" (sodomy? schwanz? scrotum sucking? It's really not clear.); the "f-word" (freak? fricatrix? frenulum? Ditto); or any question about her motives or sanity; and despises the nickname "Sparkie."

Ya gotta hand it to Sparkie, though - while she still can't write her way out of a wet paper bag with two machetes and a carton of pre-sharpened No. 2 pencils, she has mastered Wingnut 101, and uses its basic tactics with an easy fluency other G-listers can only envy.

One of her favorite techniques is the "vague and confusing anecdote as substitute for critical thinking," where some chance encounter is suffused with meaning and held out as clear proof of the propriety of her worldview. In the following example, she combines this approach with an understated "you must be too stupid to see the obvious," along with a very generous dose of hyperbole:

I went to a dinner party last night. All of these people were smart, educated, and interesting...I talked to one gentlemen from the Northeast who explained how he felt our soldiers had died for nothing in Iraq. I didn't get angry. I just explained that many of us feel that they did die for freedom and for turning a page in history where Americans and Muslims no longer fear each other, but understand each other, and on top of that we have rid the world of a brutal dictator and killed thousands upon thousands of al-Queda.

Her entire post is here, if you can take it.

It's important to note that Sparkie has not one but two kids old enough to actively help turn the pages of history, promote freedom and American-Muslim understanding, and kill even thousands upon thousands more of al-Queda/non-understanding Muslims/Democrats. One would imagine that, as a politically-astute mother with a clear appreciation for the threats we face from all sides, Sparkie would take them down to the recruiting office herself.

There's much to learn, as well as scorn and ridicule, from Sparkie's writing, and I hope to do so in greater detail in the weeks and months ahead.




excusado
by edward weston
1925

(also where Sparkie finds her inspiration)

3 comments:

Brad said...

hilarious! And the Right seems to think we on the Left have no sense of humor.

I've visted Sparkle's blog many times in the past and am utterly mystified by how many comments she gets.

She reminds me of the character in Charlie Wilson's War (the Playboy Bunny who hooked up with the Congressman to fund the mujahideen in Afghanistan, played by Julie Roberts in the movie). I'm sure Sparkle will be flattered by my comparison but it's my way of indicating how dismissive I am of her historical and political knowledge.

keep up the good blogging.

Rightwingsnarkle said...

"I've visted Sparkle's blog many times in the past and am utterly mystified by how many comments she gets."

Two words - MILF lust.

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