Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Thoughts in Response to a Post-Election Analysis by Buggs Bunny's Evil Twin

Separated at birth, reunited at whim.

I first mentioned my online wingnut buddy a few weeks ago, and have continued to visit his low-traffic blog because...well, I don't know why, exactly, except maybe because he's just not gratuitously mean-spirited or cowardly, as virtually all other wingnuts are.

Or maybe I'm just a sucker for his goofy, good-hearted grin.

I'm generally curious about what he thinks, even though what he thinks is generally pretty fucking whack and about as wrong as wrong can be.

For example, in his quick post-election analysis of the seriously fucked condition of the repubs he writes:
Sen. McCain divided and conquered to win the Republican nod and could not do much more.

I think that the best thing that he did was chose Alaska governor Sarah Palin as his running mate. She is not going anywhere because now she is no longer under the shadow of her political godfather, Sen. McCain.

But, it was a perfect storm and everything was against them this election cycle. And yet, this is in no way a blowout by President-elect Obama.
You don't think this was a blowout?

Dude, get real.

This was a clear across-the-board repudiation of all things repub, going back to St. Ronnie and Dick Nixon.

Dead and buried under running water, with their heads cut off, their mouths stuffed with garlic, and big fat wooden stakes driven through what some have called their hearts.

The national repubs have effectively been pushed back to that handful of states best known for their high levels of ignorance and obesity.

You know, the oldest of the old south.

Add to that mix the states dominated by crazy-ass mormons, along with Alaska, with its nation-leading rates of alcohol abuse and rape, and you've got the repub base.

And that's not a base that wins national elections.

There's still more to be done in consolidating Democratic gains and expanding the party's reach into the libertarian-leaning west - most notably Montana, with Texas as a longer-term project.

Add in Arizona, on the basis of its Hispanic population; and Georgia, on the basis of the Atlanta megopolis, and you're looking at a generation in the wilderness, my friend. At least a generation, and likely more.

As for the repub's second stringers - it's a sorry ass bench, indeed.

By all means, bring back Newt. He's full enough of himself to be blind to the loathing and animosity so many harbor towards him. There'll be many long knives unsheathed the moment he walks in the door, and much chaos once he's disposed of.

It'll be a bloodbath, though fun to watch from this side of the fence. And it couldn't happen to a more deserving fellow.

Bring back Caribou Barbie, of course. I mean, she did such a terrific job her first time out, didn't she?

Mad Jack might just as well have tied two boat anchors, several anvils, a large boulder, and an old DeSoto to his ankles with a big fat chain, and jumped right into the middle of Big Bear Lake for all the good that Miss Alaska did to his final shot at The Prize.

She'll be available in 2010, because she sure isn't going to stand for re-election in the face of certain defeat. Mitt Romney can fill her in on the wisdom of that course.

As for old three-hundred-million dollar Mitt, man of the people - I suspect that the moneyed bigots who backed Prop 8 (congrats, by the way, on enshrining hate into the California State Constitution) were also laying the groundwork for a field organization to support his second run for the gold in 2012.

Ya gotta hand it to the mormons - even though their religion is about the wackiest around, they've figured out ways to make lots of money, and they don't give up easily.

Anywhoozle, I'm gonna go light up the big fat cigar I've been saving just for this day. It was hand-rolled from the finest aged Cuban filler and binder, with sweet shade-grown Connecticut River valley wrapper. I've kept it stored in my personal cigar vault.

I got it from my compadre, Eduardo, who's also supplied cigars to that drug-abusing pedophile with the radio show, what's his name...Rush?

But Eduardo says he's packed that man's most recent supply with a few little surprises.

Big storm sure came, eh?

I initially wrote this as a comment at Buggs Bunny's Evil Twin's blog, and have made minor edits for style before posting it here.


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