Monday, September 29, 2008

Dirty Fucking Hippie YouTube Monday - Now With ACTION STEPS



I know my chickenshit wingnut friends don't like to swear, so please don't feel obligated to to sing along to words like "hell," "damn," or "fuck."

I do, however, hope these same chickenshit wingnuts will be inspired to go where they normally fear to tread, namely here, here, here, or here.

But I'm not gonna hold my breath.

Bonus

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Paul Newman, 1925-2008



from The Verdict

from Roger Ebert's review
This is the first movie in which Newman has looked a little old, a little tired. There are moments when his face sags and his eyes seem terribly weary, and we can look ahead clearly to the old men he will be playing in 10 years' time. Newman always has been an interesting actor, but sometimes his resiliency, his youthful vitality, have obscured his performances; he has a tendency to always look great, and that is not always what the role calls for. This time, he gives us old, bone-tired, hung-over, trembling (and heroic) Frank Galvin, and we buy it lock, stock and shot glass.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Dirty Fucking Hippie YouTube Monday - Late Again



Better late than never.

Now stand proud, motherfuckers.

Bonus

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Hey, John Sidney McCain III - FUCK YOU!!11!



Major league Thanx to sweetliberty

All hail, Dark Lord Kos.

Bonus!

Monday, September 15, 2008

Dirty Fucking Hippie YouTube Monday

Because good friends, breathing, and tradition matter...

Sunday, September 14, 2008

John McCain is a Sick Old Fuck



Seriously. The guy should be sitting in a lounge chair at a secluded VA hospital.

Alaskans Tell Palin - "Eat Shit, Asshole."

Never, have I seen anything like it in my 17 and a half years living in Anchorage. The organizers had someone walk the rally with a counter, and they clicked off well over 1400 people (not including the 90 counter-demonstrators). This was the biggest political rally ever, in the history of the state. I was absolutely stunned. The second most amazing thing is how many people honked and gave the thumbs up as they drove by. And even those that didn’t honk looked wide-eyed and awe-struck at the huge crowd that was growing by the minute. This just doesn’t happen here.

(snip)

So, if you’ve been doing the math… Yes. The Alaska Women Reject Palin rally was significantly bigger than Palin’s rally that got all the national media coverage! So take heart, sit back, and enjoy the photo gallery. Feel free to spread the pictures around (links are appreciated) to anyone who needs to know that Sarah Palin most definitely does not speak for all Alaskans. The citizens of Alaska, who know her best, have things to say.

Big, big thanks to AKMuckraker

If you're interested in watching the rise, and inevitable crash, of the celebrity repub vp candidate Miss Alaska, you've got to get over to Mudflats.

I mean, where else can you turn - Charlie Fucking Gibson?!?

Bonus!



Hanks to frsbdg

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Sarah Palin Doesn't Know What the Fuck She's Talking About



She doesn't have a fucking clue.

I wish this was all a joke, but some people actually think that it would be a good idea to vote for McP.O.W. and this crazy, ignorant, opportunistic bint.

Of course, Sparkie's gotten herself all wet over this one.

Hmmm, is she a closet lesbian?

That's got me thinking...



Update - This was not a well-thought out post when I first tossed it up here, I admit. The combination of an interview with Miss Alaska, a reference to Rightwingsparkle, and some girl-on-girl amateur porn (including highway noises just outside) may seem gratuitous, at best.

I guess one of my points is - if I'm going to subject myself to the insane ramblings of Sarah Palin and Rightwingsparkle, then perhaps at least I should have the opportunity to make their virtual interaction more palatable. I guess the only way that I could consider either of these hate-filled bimbos worth paying attention to would be for them to go at each other with fingers, tongues, and dildos.

Now that would be interesting, and would at least have some merit.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Yeah, Another YouTube

This goes out to all of you chickenshit wingnut weaslefucks who just can't get your war on fast enough.

Most of you have never been any closer to an actual war than through your X-box consoles and Sgt. Fury comics.

And for those of you who've who've plastered your blogs with comments like "I have proudly served," and who have decorated your pages with assorted military trappings and iconography, yet who still bellow for more blood - if you are to be believed, if you actually were in the military and aren't just making shit up because, you know, this is the internet where that shit happens all the time, well you obviously haven't learned a single fucking thing from your experience.

That is, if your "experience" didn't just consist of delivering mail on base, typing forms, and driving some other asshole around in a jeep.



I was a Marine myself, in the early 80s. And as a chaplain's assistant, I helped counsel the families of the men killed in the suicide bombing in Beirut, in 1983. Some were guys I'd known. For a week, at Dover Air Force Base, as the bodies were shipped in planeload by planeload, I talked to mothers, wives, fathers, and brothers. Where did they want their loved ones buried? Had anyone talked to them about their survivors' benefits? Did they need help with the forms? Administrative details of grief.

One young woman - a girl, really - had been a bride at 16 and was now a widow at 17. She asked to see her husband's remains. The coffin was tagged, so I knew what was inside. Sort of. I cautioned that she should remember him as he had been, rather than see him as he was now. But she insisted, and she was legally entitled.

So I opened the box.

Inside, wrapped in plastic, was a left hand. All they'd found, or all they could identify.

She almost broke. I almost broke, too, and still do as I type this.

Then she asked for his wedding ring.

I put on rubber surgical gloves, as we'd been trained to do, and carefully opened the plastic. I slid the ring off of his finger, and washed it with an alcohol wipe. Then I put it in her palm, eyes wet, my lip trembling. Don't, I thought. You have to be strong for her.

Her hand closed on the ring. She looked at her fist for a moment, then up at me. "Why?" she asked.

I knew a dozen stock reasons to give her. He gave his life for his country. He served bravely. All the standard lines. All the standard lies.

"I don't know," I said, the only honest answer I could give.

The whole piece is here.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Because I'm Too Lazy



This Stranahan kid is pretty good...

Update - It's been noted that the site referenced at the end of the video has been flagged by Google as a bad, bad one. So, go to the dude's YouTube page for more videos.

Funny, funny shit.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

In Her Own Words



I mean, seriously, if this isn't surreal comedy gold, nothing is.

"No balls," indeed.

Friday, September 5, 2008

Songbird's Swan Song


Did you know that John Sidney McCain III was once a prisoner of war?

Yup, it's true.

He was a prisoner of war for five and half years, starting back in 1967, when his plane was shot down over Hanoi, in Vietnam.

What was he doing up in a plane over Hanoi? Why would the Vietnamese want to keep him in a prison?

As John Sidney McCain III said himself, "I was a war criminal. I bombed innocent women and children."

Once when John Sidney McCain III was bombing innocent women and children in Hanoi, somebody down on the ground shot a wing off his plane. John Sidney McCain III and his plane fell out of the sky like rocks, right into a lake. They kept falling like rocks, too, and sank down deeper and deeper into the water.

One of the Vietnamese who saw this happen, a guy named Mai Van On, rushed out and swam into the lake where John Sidney McCain III and his plane were sinking. Mai Van On actually pulled John Sidney McCain III out of the water.

If Mai Van On hadn't swum out into the lake, John Sidney McCain III would have drowned right there and then, and the only people who would know anything about John Sidney McCain III today would be his mother, and any sisters or brothers, if he had them and they were still alive. And also his friends, if he had any of those.

His first wife, whose name is Carol, would also still know about John Sidney McCain, III, of course.

But probably none of the ladies that he fucked after he got home from prison would even have a clue that he ever existed. That is, I mean, all the ladies that he fucked when he was still married, but cheating on his wife, Carol.

John Sidney McCain III's second wife, a very rich woman named Cindy whose very rich dad sold lots of beer in Arizona, and who was a lot younger than John Sidney McCain III, and who was fucking him like a crazy bunny rabbit even though he was still married to Carol, which makes her an adulteresss in the eyes of people who say they like to read the bible and other books like that, Cindy also wouldn't have known that John Sidney McCain III had ever existed if Mai Van On had not saved John Sidney McCain III from drowning after he bombed innocent women and children.

Because if John Sidney McCain III had drowned that day in Hanoi, he never would have committed adultery so many times, and he certainly would not have married a very rich young pretty woman.

John Sidney McCain III was very lucky that he didn't kill Mai Van On when he was bombing innocent women and children.

Now, I don't know about you, but if somebody was dropping bombs on innocent women and children and me, I'd probably be very mad. And if I saw a plane crash into a lake after it dropped bombs on me and innocent women and children, I don't think that I would swim out into that lake to save the person who was flying the plane and who was really the one doing all of the bombing, because planes don't drop bombs - people in planes drop bombs.

I'd probably say something like, "Well good for you. Go ahead and drown. You won't be able to bomb anybody when you're dead. And you won't hurt your wife by cheating on her, too. Good riddance."

The other Vietnamese were very mad, so when they got their hands on John Sidney McCain III after Mai Van On pulled him out of the water, they pushed him around, and beat him up, and locked him in a small cell that didn't have any light. Maybe they also tried to kill him first. I don't know.

I also don't know what they gave him to eat in that prison, but it probably wasn't very good, and there probably wasn't very much of it.

I bet they made him shit in a bucket, or in a hole. Maybe his bed was right next to that hole. Or maybe he didn't even get a bucket or a hole to shit in, or a bed to sleep on, and instead John Sidney McCain III had to sleep in his shit and his piss right there on the floor in that dark little prison cell.

Who knows?

The guards in the prison in Vietnam screamed at John Sidney McCain III a lot, and they tried to scare him. They hurt his arm and his leg, because he broke an arm and a leg when his plane hit the water after it was shot down. When somebody hits your arm or leg after it has already been broken, it hurts a lot, believe me.

John Sidney McCain III did not have much fun in that prison, if he had any fun at all.

Sometimes the guards didn't let him sleep. That's called 'sleep deprivation,' and it can make a person crazy because we all need to sleep.

Sometimes they made him stand up for hours and hours, or they made him squat down for hours and hours, too. That's called putting somebody in 'stress positions,' and it hurts a lot and can also make a person crazy, like when you sit on the toilet too long and your legs fall asleep and it's hard to stand up and walk for a few minutes.

Why did the guards in Vietnam do these things to John Sidney McCain III? Why did they hurt him and make him crazy?

They did that because they wanted John Sidney McCain III to tell them things, like how many other men in planes did he know were bombing innocent women and children. That's called 'interrogation.'

They also wanted to trick John Sidney McCain III into saying things that they could use as propaganda. Propaganda is stuff that isn't really true, but that can be used to fool other people into thinking that it is true.

Propaganda is confusing.

John Sidney McCain III knows a lot about saying things that aren't true, but that confuse people into thinking that maybe what he says really is true. Maybe John Sidney McCain III learned how to confuse people so well because he learned it in Vietnam. He certainly talked a lot when the guards asked him to. He talked so much that the other people that were also being held in that prison gave him a nickname.

The other prisoners called John Sidney McCain III "Songbird," because he talked so much whenever he was interrogated, and because he said so many things that could be used as propaganda - just like a bird that sings a lot, sitting in the tree outside your window. Only I don't think that the other prisoners thought that John Sidney McCain III was pretty, like a real songbird.

I think John Sidney McCain III made the other prisoners really mad.

I can't blame him, because if somebody was hurting me and trying to make me crazy, I'd tell them anything that they wanted to know. I'd even make up things that I knew weren't true if it would make them stop hurting me and trying to make me crazy.

Would you do that, too? I bet a lot of people would. I bet a lot of people do.

Anyway, one day John Sidney McCain III got out of prison, and later on we all became pretty good friends with the people in Vietnam, though I think John Sidney McCain III is still pretty mad about what happened to him, because he still likes to call them "gooks" even today.

Calling a person from Vietnam a gook is like calling a black-skinned person a 'nigger.' It's not a nice thing to say at all.

Are the Vietnamese people still mad at John Sidney McCain III because he bombed innocent women and children in Vietnam? I don't know, but it might be a good question to ask somebody. Maybe John Sidney McCain III knows, but if he does he isn't telling anybody.

Oh, one more thing. Some people call what happened to John Sidney McCain III when he was in prison, when his guards yelled at him and hurt his arm and leg, and hit him, and didn't let him sleep, and made him stay in stress positions and sleep on the floor in his own piss and shit, some people call all of those things 'torture.'

But it's not. John Sidney McCain III wasn't tortured when he was in prison in Vietnam. Not one bit. Not at all.

There's even a very long and complicated story that some lawyers wrote that say it wasn't torture, and those lawyers worked for the President of the United States, so they must know what they're talking about. The President of the United States says that he can do to other people what the guards in that prison in Vietnam did to John Sidney McCain III, anytime he wants to, and for any reason he says, or even for no reason at all.

But the President of the United States, and his lawyers, says that he doesn't actually torture people. They just say that they like to use 'enhanced interrogation techniques.'

And now John Sidney McCain III wants to be the President of the United States, too.

I wonder if John Sidney McCain III wants to be the President so he can torture use enhanced interrogation techniques on people. If so, that would be a pretty funny reason.

But John Sidney McCain III isn't very funny. Not at all.

Anyway, now you know that John Sidney McCain III was once a prisoner of war. If I didn't tell you, you probably wouldn't know, because John Sidney McCain III doesn't like to talk about it, and he doesn't want other people to talk about it, either.

But John Sidney McCain III wasn't tortured. Anybody who says that John Sidney McCain III was tortured in Vietnam is calling the President of the United States a liar.

- - - -

John Sidney McCain III said he bombed innocent women and children here

This is what says that John Sidney McCain III wasn't tortured

- - - -
Bonus

You would never know it from the media coverage but John McCain is not one of America’s greatest war heroes. He is a former POW who survived, heroically. He deserves to be honored for that heroism.

But one thing distinguishes McCain from other war heroes, the kind whose heroism changes history rather than their life stories.

America’s two greatest war heroes were Ulysses Grant and Dwight Eisenhower. Grant saved the union. And Ike saved civilization.

And neither one ever bragged about their experience. (Can you imagine Ike smacking down Adlai Stevenson by saying that while Adlai ran a nice medium-sized state, he was the Supreme Allied Commander who ran D-Day, defeated Hitler, and liberated Europe?).

Impossible. Like Grant, Eisenhower did not brag.

Actually, modesty about military accomplishments is typical of war heroes and not just here. In Israel, it is unheard of for great military leaders to brag about their service.

Former Prime Minister Ehud Barak was the most decorated soldier in Israel’s history (he was a commando who, among other amazing feats, dressed as a woman — with a handful of soldiers — invaded a terrorist stronghold in Beirut, killed the terrorists, and then fled to a waiting dinghy and headed home). Yitzhak Rabin led the IDF in its Six Day War victory. Ariel Sharon saved Israel from destruction in 1973 when he snuck up behind the Egyptian army and encircled them in the Sinai.

None of these guys talked about it. McCain does. Continuously. His lack of modesty — about something war heroes tend to be modest about — does not become him.

From MJ Rosenberg at TPM
Hanks to justme at Sadly, No!

Thursday, September 4, 2008

SaRah! Rah! Rah!

"After we're done with today's pep rally, I'll be out in the parking lot to give blow jobs to every starting player on the football team.

For you basketball and baseball players, it's handjobs only.


When I turn sixteen, the entire hockey team can fuck me in the ass.

But no intercourse.

I'm saving that for when I marry my boyfriend."

occam's hatchet rules


Bonus! 'specially for my fundie wingnut friends
Jesus was a community organizer and Pontius Pilate was a governor.
All hail, Dark Lord Kos

Bonus #2 - Miss Alaska if full of shit
Seriously - she's filled to the brim

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Meet the Fucknut(s)

Dare to be Stupid...and Lazy

I've had some new visitors recently, and since my shitty little blog is a rundown shack on the side of a weed-filled dirt road, every visit is a special occasion. My door is always open, and I never turn anybody away.

Still, I gotta tell ya, this fucking idiot really has me scratching my head. At first, I was really flattered when he dropped off his little rant. I mean, just look at all of those commas.

But when I followed the link to his own shitty little blog, it turns out that his comment here was just a cheap copy/paste job from his post there.

Or maybe he copied his comment and turned it into a post?

I dunno, it's confusing.

In any event, in looking over the comment thread he's generated, it looks to me like Fucknut went out to rustle up the group hug that he really wanted all along. Good for you, Fucknut. Good for you.

And I've found a whole new bunch of friends who have such fascinating things to say!

Sarge: "If Richard Nixon, a Republican, had not been totally paranoid, he might have left office a hero for ending the Vietnam War and opening up China..."

J_G: "After four days of negative messages to a depressed constituency the democrats were dealt the coup de gr√Ęce from John McCain and the Republican party. Sarah Heath Louise Palin, the current Governor of the State of Alaska has been nominated by John McCain to be his running mate and will undoubtedly be the next Vice-President of the United States."

ECM: "If you're a conservative like me who's tired of going to the movie theater and getting blasted with liberal politics then welcome to my blog!"

Z: "NOW, can SOMEBODY tell me where Fred Thompson was during HIS campaign for the presidency? WHAT a speech he gave tonight, huh?! YIKES! What alien forces had his innards when he was running? Man, was he fantastic."

Fantastic just isn't the word for it, my friend.

Monday, September 1, 2008

Dirty Fucking Hippie YouTube Monday - Special

Tonight's music video is going out with a special dedication to Sarah and Britney Bristol Palin.



This is one of the most freakin' awesome rock performances ever filmed, and has always been my personal Woodstock favorite despite the annoying triple-split-screen bullshit gimmick that they used to present it.

Now, everybody knows that John Sidney McCain III was a P.O.W. for five and a half years.

But what most people don't know is that for the last two of those years his NVA captors would play this song, real loud, right outside his cell at every guard change, just to taunt him. Most NVA regulars played a mean Alvin Lee-style air guitar, too, right down to the pouty lower lip.

True story, but one that John Sidney McCain III doesn't like to talk about.